Yesterday, I was out with the dog enjoying what turned out to be very temporary sunshine when I suddenly choked.\u00a0\u00a0 Was I choking on my own saliva?\u00a0 Was it a piece of my fried egg that I didn’t get down properly before I went out?\u00a0 I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I suddenly had a tickle in my throat and I didn’t know why.\u00a0 Then I realized…<\/p>\n
SHIT!! I INHALED A BUGGGGGGGGG!!!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n I had this image in my head from one of those cartoons like A Bug’s Life, imagining this little bug clinging desperately to that dangly thing in my throat as I coughed, spasmed and sputtered my way along the sidewalk.<\/p>\n I could feel it fluttering in my throat, which then made me gag… I knew desperate times called for desperate measures so I did that thing where you try to create as much saliva as possible, like when you get a pill stuck in your throat, ya know?\u00a0 I knew if I couldn’t get it out I had to get it down, and quick!<\/p>\n It didn’t work…<\/p>\n Finally I gave in and did the old man\u00a0\/ cat with a hairball hack and chortle and then I felt it, stuck to my tooth.\u00a0 I got it up, but I think getting it down would have been more pleasant.<\/p>\n I stuck my finger in and took it out.\u00a0 It was one of those little black flies… this tiny little thing felt like a pterodactyl in the back of my throat flapping around but it was no bigger than a sesame seed!\u00a0 I couldn’t tell if it was still alive or not, and I didn’t care – I flicked it like a crusty booger.<\/p>\n This morning as I was walking along the same stretch of the path, I held my breath.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Yesterday, I was out with the dog enjoying what turned out to be very temporary sunshine when I suddenly choked.\u00a0\u00a0 Was I choking on my own saliva?\u00a0 Was it a piece of my fried egg that I didn’t get down properly before I went out?\u00a0 I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4],"tags":[875,108],"class_list":["post-688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","","category-life-in-nl","category-funny-shit","tag-funny-shit","tag-scary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=688"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1220,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/688\/revisions\/1220"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=688"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=688"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=688"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}