{"id":6606,"date":"2011-05-18T14:26:40","date_gmt":"2011-05-18T12:26:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=6606"},"modified":"2011-05-18T14:35:06","modified_gmt":"2011-05-18T12:35:06","slug":"stop-the-presses-i-am-printing-a-retraction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/6606","title":{"rendered":"Stop The Presses! I Am Printing a Retraction!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Have you ever read my About Me<\/a> page? If you have you\u2019ve probably seen this\u2026<\/p>\n

\"retraction\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Ummm, yeah.\u00a0 This is a lie.\u00a0 Well, it wasn\u2019t a lie when I first wrote it now but I can\u2019t leave it on there without feeling like I\u2019m telling a fib.<\/p>\n

A while back I wrote a post about how I felt that my being overweight affected my feeling of femininity<\/a>, which was quite difficult for me to write because not only was it slightly embarrassing but it required a little bit of soul searching as well.\u00a0 I always knew I didn\u2019t feel feminine but I wasn\u2019t sure why, it wasn\u2019t until I started losing the weight<\/a> that I put two and two together and made the connection.<\/p>\n

In that post I was talking about my acrylic nails, which I loved.\u00a0 Oh how I loved them.\u00a0 I decided they would be my reward to myself for losing weight and one of my first steps into accepting that more girlie side of myself.\u00a0 Unfortunately, due to the affect the hormones treatments<\/a> were having, the weight loss stopped.\u00a0 It also started to get a little expensive for me to keep having my nails done\u2026 so I decided it was best if I removed them.\u00a0 I partly didn\u2019t feel like I deserved the \u2018reward\u2019 since I wasn\u2019t still losing weight but the main problem was about cost.<\/p>\n

The thing is, I really loved having pretty nails so I decided to start trying to do them myself<\/a> and see what I could come up with.\u00a0 Before I knew it I was hooked!\u00a0 Uh oh, I DO live for nail polish!\u00a0 So that means that on my About Me page I am a big lying liar! haha<\/p>\n

Not just that, but with the weight loss I also realized that none of the clothes I\u2019d bought last summer fit me anymore.\u00a0 Which was good, but also not good because I didn\u2019t want to have to buy an entirely new wardrobe.\u00a0 I did have to buy some new clothes though, and I thought what better time to try something new!\u00a0 For the first time in years, I bought leggings\u2026 and a dress.\u00a0 Yes, you heard me right.\u00a0 A dress<\/em>!<\/p>\n

I wore it\u2026 and felt silly.<\/p>\n

I wore it again\u2026 and felt slightly less silly.<\/p>\n

I got one or two more outfits like this and I wore them and felt increasingly less silly.<\/p>\n

I admit, each of the times I wore it I was a little paranoid about the size of my legs, because that is one area that isn\u2019t showing a drastic change after the weight loss.\u00a0 I\u2019m still quite big in my butt, thighs and legs\u2026 so wearing stuff like this really tests my strength in regards to my body issues.\u00a0 Every part of me wants to NOT wear these outfits, EVEN THOUGH<\/em> they are incredibly comfortable and cool in the warm weather.\u00a0 The insecure, paranoid, body issue freak inside me would rather sweat to death than wear something that might make someone mentally point and laugh when I walk by.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t give in though, because deep down as much as I worry about my legs, or about my flabby arms when I wear a tank top (oh sweet jesus, don\u2019t even get me started on THAT. Let\u2019s just say I won\u2019t be waving a lot to people this summer!)\u2026 I am enjoying the freedom of wearing what I like more and more, regardless of what other people may think.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure what created such a drastic change\u2026. now constantly with the nails and manicures, wearing dresses and looking at shoes and makeup more.\u00a0 Some friends have a theory that it\u2019s a possible effect of the hormones I\u2019d taken over the past six months, and maybe they are right\u2026 maybe there is something in them that brings out my feminine side, who knows.\u00a0 All I know is that I am through with not trying things because I worry I\u2019ll look stupid.<\/p>\n

To be honest, the nails thing?\u00a0 It\u2019s been so therapeutic.\u00a0 There were a lot of days during my treatments that I felt so down. My mind would be going a thousand miles a minute and I didn\u2019t have the patience for anything\u2026 but I could sit and play with nail polish and paint my nails for hours.\u00a0 It felt peaceful and for a little while I was free of the mental roller coaster I was riding.<\/p>\n

I even started a second blog, yes\u2026 all about nails.\u00a0 I love it!\u00a0 It\u2019s not about anything personal, I don\u2019t discuss life or how I\u2019m feeling.\u00a0 I just share something I enjoy with other people who enjoy it too.\u00a0 It\u2019s SO simple and so fun.<\/p>\n

\"gettinggirlie\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s called (as you can see) Gettin’ Girlie<\/a>.\u00a0 Notice my newspaper nails manicure?\u00a0 Pretty fitting for my \u2018Stop The Presses’\u201d post, huh?\u00a0 I\u2019m so clever.<\/p>\n

Anyway, the blog is on Blogger<\/a>, which I must admit I kind of despise, but that\u2019s where the nail community \u2018lives\u2019, so I figured I may as well have my nail blog live there too. I would have loved to be able to have the nails blog also on self-hosted WordPress, because that\u2019s how I roll\u2026 but there are elements to nail blogging (like having to use Google Friend Connect) which absolutely does NOT work on WordPress for some reason, that I can\u2019t use, so I\u2019m sort of stuck with Blogger. Blech.<\/p>\n

The reasons I started a second blog for this are pretty simple.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think the readers who visit Canadutch would all be interested in nails.\u00a0 Not that everyone that visits is interested in everything I write, but if I suddenly just became all about manicures it would not really be what this<\/em> blog is about.\u00a0 Also, I wanted to sign up for giveaways. LOTS AND LOTS of giveaways. I so want free shit!\u00a0 In order to do that you have to pretty much plague your blog with posts, sidebar stuff etc\u2026 and that\u2019s not what I want for Canadutch either.\u00a0 I like keeping this site free of spam and clutter, and that just does not jive well with what the whole nail blogging thing is all about.<\/p>\n

For the last while I\u2019ve been keeping the nail blog semi-secret because I felt kind of silly.\u00a0 I mean, a NAIL blog? About NAIL POLISH!?\u00a0 I\u2019m so over it.\u00a0 It\u2019s fun, I enjoy it and it relaxes me.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing to be ashamed of here\u2026 it was just me being silly and slipping into old habits of worrying what other people will think.\u00a0 Over analyzing things\u2026 Now I am just rolling my eyes at myself, of course.<\/p>\n

As hard as the weight loss journey has been so far, and will be in the coming months, and as much as these fertility treatments have taken out of me\u2026 there is a silver lining here.\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m becoming more and more the person I want to be and am becoming less afraid of what other people think.\u00a0 It has been teaching me some valuable lessons.\u00a0 Most of all, that it\u2019s ok to let your freak flag fly\u2026 and fly it will!!<\/p>\n

Oh, just don\u2019t think I\u2019ll be waving it, because no matter how \u2018over it\u2019 I like to think I am, those waggly arms still drive me bananas!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever read my About Me page? If you have you\u2019ve probably seen this\u2026 Ummm, yeah.\u00a0 This is a lie.\u00a0 Well, it wasn\u2019t a lie when I first wrote it now but I can\u2019t leave it on there without feeling like I\u2019m telling a fib. A while back I wrote a post about how …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6607,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,8,19],"tags":[878,550,885,16,415,250,349,877],"class_list":["post-6606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-blog-stuff","category-life-in-nl","category-weightloss","tag-blog-stuff","tag-girlie-shit","tag-nails","tag-project-baby","tag-self-awareness","tag-shopping","tag-weight-loss","tag-weightloss"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6606","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6606"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6606\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6609,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6606\/revisions\/6609"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6606"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6606"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6606"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}