{"id":6350,"date":"2011-02-23T07:20:04","date_gmt":"2011-02-23T06:20:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=6350"},"modified":"2011-02-23T07:32:36","modified_gmt":"2011-02-23T06:32:36","slug":"my-war-on-asia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/6350","title":{"rendered":"My War on Asia"},"content":{"rendered":"

Living in a flat in Rotterdam brings with it a lot of interesting interactions with neighbours.\u00a0 We have been living in this flat for over ten years and while we do have some really awesome neighbours<\/a>, we have also had some total jerkoffs<\/a>, inconsiderate twats<\/a> (who we totally busted<\/a>) and royal pains in the ass<\/a>.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s one neighbour that I\u2019ve decided I\u2019m going to declare war with.\u00a0 I\u2019m not quite sure how, but I\u2019ve been trying to hatch a plan over the last two or three years and I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll come up with something good any minute now.<\/p>\n

They are evil!<\/p>\n

Ok, they may not be evil, I\u2019m not really sure as I\u2019ve never actually met them.\u00a0 Here is what I know\u2026<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. They have made me really angry.<\/li>\n
  2. They are Asian.<\/li>\n
  3. They like the sun.<\/li>\n
  4. \u2026 and cigarettes.<\/li>\n
  5. They have made me really REALLY angry.<\/li>\n
  6. They don\u2019t like trees.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You see, I spend a lot of time on my balcony in spring and summer.\u00a0 I quite like the view from there<\/a> and have been known to snap a few photos from time to time.\u00a0 Like this one\u2026<\/p>\n

    \"Full<\/a><\/p>\n

    I took this photo in 2005, and this is what I had to say at the time.<\/p>\n

    Every spring this tree seems to explode overnight, it’s so beautiful! Such a shame it lasts such a short time though<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    This was always my favorite part of spring.\u00a0 Looking out behind my house to see this beautiful tree in bloom!\u00a0 On nights like last night<\/a> it would even appear to change color, looking more pink or red than usual.<\/p>\n

    I LOVED THIS TREE.\u00a0 It made life pretty.<\/p>\n

    The people who owned that garden had it set up quite beautifully with a lot of plants and a nice seating area etc.\u00a0 I love looking over their garden while I sat out on my balcony.\u00a0 They moved though, and then \u2018The Asians\u2019 moved in.\u00a0 I call them that because I don\u2019t know anything else about them.<\/p>\n

    Except that they hate trees.<\/p>\n

    \u2026 and they love cigarettes.<\/p>\n

    Well, this is what stands there now\u2026<\/p>\n

    \"SONY<\/a><\/p>\n

    Yeah, that\u2019s it.\u00a0 A stump that gets freshly chainsawed every year.\u00a0 Can you believe it?!<\/p>\n

    I know it\u2019s their garden and they can do what they want with it, but seriously?\u00a0\u00a0 They removed anything even remotely beautiful, filled the entire garden with tiles and put nothing out there.<\/p>\n

    Wait, that\u2019s a lie\u2026 in the summer they put out a lawn chair and a big can to use as an ashtray, because that’s the only time they ever go out there is to smoke. \u00a0Oh, and to chainsaw the tree.<\/p>\n

    These people really give new meaning to PAVED PARADISE AND PUT UP A PARKING LOT<\/strong>.\u00a0 Fuckers.<\/p>\n

    So that\u2019s what I see now when I sit on my balcony in the spring\u2026 a stump\u2026 and for that I hate them and am declaring war on Asia.<\/p>\n

    Not the real Asia, cuz I\u2019d lose\u2026 just the little Asia that lives behind my house.<\/p>\n

    I\u2019ve considered collecting dog poo and throwing it over the fence, because there\u2019s no lack of it<\/a> around here, but what if someone saw me?\u00a0 This place is full of lookie-loos.\u00a0 I need something more discreet and stealthy. Something that will make them regret the day they ever bought a chainsaw.<\/p>\n

    I will come up with a brilliant plan one day, then they will feel my wrath, <\/em>and boy will they be sorry!!<\/p>\n

    Until then I will continue to give them the stink eye from the balcony.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Living in a flat in Rotterdam brings with it a lot of interesting interactions with neighbours.\u00a0 We have been living in this flat for over ten years and while we do have some really awesome neighbours, we have also had some total jerkoffs, inconsiderate twats (who we totally busted) and royal pains in the ass. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6354,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,6],"tags":[90,523,69,57,147],"class_list":["post-6350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-life-in-nl","category-tantrums-rants","tag-idiots","tag-nature","tag-neighbours","tag-rants","tag-spring"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6350","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6350"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6356,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6350\/revisions\/6356"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}