{"id":5909,"date":"2011-01-13T09:05:54","date_gmt":"2011-01-13T07:05:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=5909"},"modified":"2011-01-13T09:31:51","modified_gmt":"2011-01-13T07:31:51","slug":"project-365-day-12-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/5909","title":{"rendered":"Project 365 (Day 12) Normal"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Project<\/a><\/p>\n

This was the cover of a calendar that my mom sent me for Christmas last year.\u00a0 I was sort of bummed when I took it down because it was really cute and funny.\u00a0 My mom knows me so well\u2026<\/p>\n

There has been a lot of this in my life lately, pretending to be normal when really I\u2019m wigging out completely inside. I miss the days when I\u2019d just talk about anything on my blog, because I feel like I could really use that outlet for getting all my thoughts out, but something has changed.<\/p>\n

One thing I have always liked best about my blog is that I\u2019ve been real, totally 100% real.\u00a0 The good stuff, the bad and the really really bad.\u00a0 I like being honest and putting it all out there, mostly because I know that there are people who have gone through some of the same things I have who have felt better knowing they aren\u2019t alone.<\/p>\n

The problem though?\u00a0 At times I\u2019ve paid dearly for it because I\u2019ve taken it too far. I\u2019ve been insensitive about other people\u2019s feelings and was so busy getting my own feelings out there that I wasn\u2019t thinking of the other people who were affected by it.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think anyone would be bothered if I wrote about the issues I\u2019m having at the moment, but it\u2019s all stuff that if I put it out there, it\u2019s out for public consumption and I don\u2019t know if I want that right now. \u00a0I\u2019d like to talk about it but only on my terms<\/em>.\u00a0 Meaning I\u2019d like to blog about it just so I can talk and let my feelings out but I wouldn\u2019t want people asking me about it all the time, because while I\u2019d write about it here that wouldn\u2019t mean I\u2019d always feel like talking about it. It would just be nice to let it all out and drivel on about it as long as I want without worrying that I’m boring someone or forcing them to be a part of a conversation about it.<\/p>\n

Fucking hell, I just realized I\u2019m like one of those Vaguebookers<\/a> I hate so much.\u00a0 Those assholes who say something like \u201coh I never thought it could ever get this bad!\u201d or \u201cI never thought a friend could be that absolutely heinous but I guess they can’\u201d, which prompts all their friends to swarm like flies to shit to find out what is going on. I hate those people, like\u2026 want to punch in the throat kind of hate.<\/p>\n

Honestly, that\u2019s not what I\u2019m trying to do. I\u2019m just talking about an inner struggle with how I am feeling about my blog at the moment and what I want it to be.\u00a0 It used to be a no holds barred place for me to be well\u2026 me.\u00a0 Lately it feels like I\u2019ve been holding back, just posting photos and trying to keep everything as safe as possible\u2026 and I really really haven\u2019t been enjoying it.\u00a0 I like to think I\u2019m wiser now and I know what is and isn\u2019t appropriate to write about.\u00a0 The problem is, everyone has a different idea of where the line is.\u00a0 Maybe I just need to keep on writing like I always did, as long as it\u2019s just my own private business I\u2019m discussing, and possibly my husband\u2019s if he consents\u2026. and give a good think to who else is affected by it if I hit the publish button.<\/p>\n

Sorry, I know this probably makes no sense and is really confusing, but if you\u2019ve been reading for a long time I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve noticed the difference as well. I just need to think on it a bit more, but I\u2019ll probably be back soon to add a little clarity to the whole thing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This was the cover of a calendar that my mom sent me for Christmas last year. I was sort of bummed when I took it down because it was really cute and funny. My mom knows me so well\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5910,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,49],"tags":[878,302,103,545],"class_list":["post-5909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-blog-stuff","category-photography","tag-blog-stuff","tag-confusion","tag-facebook","tag-project-365"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5909"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5909\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5912,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5909\/revisions\/5912"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}