{"id":469,"date":"2006-09-08T15:31:48","date_gmt":"2006-09-08T13:31:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/archives\/469"},"modified":"2010-05-24T21:41:50","modified_gmt":"2010-05-24T19:41:50","slug":"jay-strikes-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/469","title":{"rendered":"Jay Strikes Again!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Some of you may remember my friend Jay<\/a> who (or is it whom?) I’ve quoted<\/a> quoted on my blog a number of times.<\/p>\n

Today I came to my computer to find this waiting for me: <\/p>\n

Jay says (11:54 PM):<\/font>
\nwatched this film called ‘anal lesbians’ the other day<\/font>
\nJay says (11:54 PM):<\/font>
\nthey spent about half the film going through the fridge labelling everything…<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nOne evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\n“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”
\nShe responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nRealizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nThe very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. <\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nShe wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nWe went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
\nbecause she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.<\/font>
\nJay says (3:12 PM):<\/font>
\nI think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”<\/font>
\nJay says (3:13 PM):<\/font>
\nI could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”<\/font>
\nJay says (3:13 PM):<\/font>
\nI then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like
\nshe was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”<\/font>
\nJay says (3:13 PM):<\/font>
\nApparently I’m not having sex tonight either….<\/font><\/p>\n

He’s so funny :)<\/p>\n

On our way to pick up Harley<\/a> today but we won’t be home until well after midnight because we have to go to Germany to get him. <\/p>\n

Silly me stuffed my face with fajitas yesterday and have spent most of my time since about 11pm last night camping out on the toilet. Yeah TMI? As usual, I don’t care… I like to make my blog readers suffer with me. <\/p>\n

I guess since losing weight my stomach isn’t used to such an attack anymore… *groans*<\/p>\n

I get the feeling I’m going to be seeing many a gas station toilet between here and Harley. This little dude better be worth it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some of you may remember my friend Jay who (or is it whom?) I’ve quoted quoted on my blog a number of times. Today I came to my computer to find this waiting for me: Jay says (11:54 PM): watched this film called ‘anal lesbians’ the other day Jay says (11:54 PM): they spent about …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[17],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","","category-funny-shit","tag-quotes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=469"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4381,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions\/4381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}