{"id":3962,"date":"2010-02-26T12:01:06","date_gmt":"2010-02-26T10:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=3962"},"modified":"2011-09-04T15:57:41","modified_gmt":"2011-09-04T13:57:41","slug":"thats-right-grandma-im-dancin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/3962","title":{"rendered":"That’s Right Grandma, I’m Dancin’!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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This morning was weigh in day.\u00a0 I got on the insult machine, looked down and told it to go fuck itself.<\/p>\n

It would appear that\u00a0 making that 1 pound my bitch<\/a> is going to be more difficult than I thought.\u00a0 Instead, my body was all like HA, I\u2019ll take your 1 pound and see you a half a kilo.\u00a0 Then I was like, oh blow me.<\/p>\n

*sigh*<\/p>\n

It really put me in a horrible mood because I\u2019ve been so good. Going to the gym, getting my bike out and riding it, eating right\u2026 and for what?\u00a0 To gain a half a kilo?\u00a0 I tried to rationalize by telling myself that I gained a half a kilo of muscle but I know that\u2019s not true.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s just bloat weight, because I\u2019m a woman and that\u2019s what we do, we bloat.\u00a0\u00a0 I don\u2019t like to brag, but bloating is one area where I excel.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be gone in a few days, and I\u2019m cool with that but still, my hopes of waking up this morning and strutting around chanting I LOST 50 POUNDS <\/em>were dashed.<\/p>\n

Then I came out to the living room to find that at some point in the night my cat lost a half a kilo by projectile vomiting all over the floor.\u00a0 I considered trying that method myself but decided against it, vomiting makes me cry and I\u2019m trying to be all hardcore and kickass about this one pound business.\u00a0 I can\u2019t be going around crying like a girl.<\/p>\n

I then considered taking a laxative but I already gave myself a hemorrhoid by thinking I could poo the pound off. So I figured between that and the bike<\/a> my ass as suffered enough.<\/p>\n

When it came time to take the dogs out I was good and pissy.\u00a0 The sky was grey, it was drizzling out and I wasn\u2019t looking forward to the usual routine of trying to get the dogs to have a crap rather than eating one.\u00a0 I grabbed my phone, put on my \u2018kicking ass a the gym\u2019 playlist and headed out the door.<\/p>\n

Just as I was going down the stairs of our building the song in this video came on, You Can Do It<\/em> by Ice Cube.\u00a0 You might recognize it from the movie Save The Last Dance<\/a>, which I loved.\u00a0 Before I knew it I was wiggling my way down the stairs all Baby from Dirty Dancing on the stairs style.\u00a0 I may or may not have even done the dramatic pose at the end.<\/p>\n

Normally I am quite paranoid about how I behave when I go outside because we live across from a seniors complex and they are some nosy, nosy people.\u00a0 I keep my living room curtains closed most of the time because they are always looking out their windows and into our house.\u00a0 I actually sat in the living room and waved once and some waved back.\u00a0 It\u2019s very irritating.<\/p>\n

Today I didn\u2019t bother, I just needed that pick-me-up and didn\u2019t care about anything.\u00a0 I went out of my building and walked along the sidewalk with the dogs, wiggling my chubby wigger ass like nobodies business!\u00a0 I was my own little one man flash mob<\/a>.\u00a0 If they wanted to laugh at me or talk about me (which I\u2019m pretty sure they do anyway, me being the BUITENLANDER and all) that was fine with me.\u00a0 I needed to let loose and shake off my bad mood.\u00a0 There really is some truth to that dance like nobody is watching thing.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Ice Cube clearly knows loads about making things his bitch, so I went with the flow. \u00a0If anyone had a problem with that\u2026 I was totally gonna bust a cap in their ass.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This morning was weigh in day.\u00a0 I got on the insult machine, looked down and told it to go fuck itself. It would appear that\u00a0 making that 1 pound my bitch is going to be more difficult than I thought.\u00a0 Instead, my body was all like HA, I\u2019ll take your 1 pound and see you …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3963,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[118,69,57,132,877,382],"class_list":["post-3962","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-weightloss","tag-music","tag-neighbours","tag-rants","tag-videos","tag-weightloss","tag-weight-woes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3962","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3962"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3962\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3965,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3962\/revisions\/3965"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3963"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3962"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3962"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3962"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}