{"id":2782,"date":"2009-12-21T21:57:53","date_gmt":"2009-12-21T19:57:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=2782"},"modified":"2009-12-21T22:04:43","modified_gmt":"2009-12-21T20:04:43","slug":"oh-christmas-shrub-oh-christmas-shrub","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/2782","title":{"rendered":"Oh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I would not want to be this guy!<\/p>\n<p><object classid=\"clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000\" width=\"560\" height=\"340\" codebase=\"http:\/\/download.macromedia.com\/pub\/shockwave\/cabs\/flash\/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\" \/><param name=\"allowscriptaccess\" value=\"always\" \/><param name=\"src\" value=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/8XWz7lNAAYA&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;\" \/><param name=\"allowfullscreen\" value=\"true\" \/><embed type=\"application\/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"560\" height=\"340\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/8XWz7lNAAYA&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;\" allowscriptaccess=\"always\" allowfullscreen=\"true\"><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n<p>Seriously\u2026 Christmas trees aren\u2019t THAT expensive here that you have to steal one.\u00a0 Perhaps he feels the same as I do, that the Dutch Christmas trees are not worth buying.\u00a0 They are Charlie Brown Christmas Trees! They don\u2019t even deserve to be called trees, they are Christmas Shrubs!\u00a0 With their big fat bottoms, weird gangly branches spaced too far apart and the giant spike at the top.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen a better advertisement for fake trees in my life.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/charliebrowntree.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2783\" title=\"charliebrowntree\" src=\"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/charliebrowntree.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"509\" height=\"321\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/charliebrowntree.jpg 509w, https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/12\/charliebrowntree-300x189.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 509px) 100vw, 509px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\n<p>In fact, I feel <em>so<\/em> strongly about it, I\u2019ve decided to write my own song.\u00a0 *Cracks Knuckles*<\/p>\n<p>To the tune of \u201cOh Christmas Tree\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Oh Christmas Shrub<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Oh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour body weird and gangly.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour body weird and gangly.<br \/>\nYou\u2019re barely green when summer\u2019s here,<br \/>\nYou start to droop before New Year.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour body weird and gangly.<\/p>\n<p>Oh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour branches sparse and flimsy.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour branches sparse and flimsy.<br \/>\nTo lame to be labeled a tree,<br \/>\nA four foot shrub no one can see.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour branches sparse and flimsy.<\/p>\n<p>Oh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour trunk crooked and sticky.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour trunk crooked and sticky.<br \/>\nNo bells or garland can fix you,<br \/>\nYou would make my whole Christmas blue.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour trunk crooked and sticky.<\/p>\n<p>Oh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour needles loose and prickly.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour needles loose and prickly.<br \/>\nYour giant spike on top\u2019s too long,<br \/>\nYou don\u2019t deserve this awesome song.<br \/>\nOh Christmas Shrub! Oh Christmas Shrub!<br \/>\nYour needles loose and prickly.<\/p>\n<p>*** Bows ***<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I would not want to be this guy! Seriously\u2026 Christmas trees aren\u2019t THAT expensive here that you have to steal one.\u00a0 Perhaps he feels the same as I do, that the Dutch Christmas trees are not worth buying.\u00a0 They are Charlie Brown Christmas Trees! They don\u2019t even deserve to be called trees, they are Christmas &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2783,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4,6],"tags":[71,81,875,132],"class_list":["post-2782","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-life-in-nl","category-funny-shit","category-tantrums-rants","tag-christmas","tag-christmas-tree","tag-funny-shit","tag-videos"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2782"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2785,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2782\/revisions\/2785"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2782"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2782"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2782"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}