{"id":2708,"date":"2009-11-25T18:51:06","date_gmt":"2009-11-25T16:51:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/archives\/2708"},"modified":"2010-05-31T23:44:38","modified_gmt":"2010-05-31T21:44:38","slug":"gag-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/2708","title":{"rendered":"Gag Me!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Actually, no\u2026 don\u2019t!<\/p>\n

A week from today I have my 2nd appointment for a Gastroscopy<\/a>, not fun.  It goes a little something like this\u2026 <\/p>\n

\"gastro\"<\/a>
I just had it done on the 18th, and you\u2019d think once would be enough but please\u2026 this is me we\u2019re taking about.  It goes without saying that my body will play evil tricks on me that make me want to dress myself in cement shoes and throw me in a river.   <\/p>\n

When I visited the first time I did just as they said, no food after midnight the previous evening (I didn\u2019t eat after 6pm just to be extra good!), no food in the morning, and so on.   I was nervous because I was going to be sedated, which has never happened, but it was better than the alternative.   The alternative being held down while the people shove this thing down your throat.  Sorry, but\u2026 no.<\/p>\n

So I get there, they try really hard to talk me out of the sedation because apparently the Dutch, being the hardcore mofos that they are, take it without being sedated at all.  Yeah, they also pull teeth without freezing.  That makes them crazy, not me.  <\/p>\n

Long story short\u2026 they sedate me, I wake up, and Xander is there.  Apparently, we had the same conversation numerous time, which was quite amusing for him.   This is his version:<\/p>\n

\n

T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:45, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. I think I am ready to go home now"
T: Zzzzzzz<\/p>\n

<2 mins later>
T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:50, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. Can I go home now?"
T: Zzzzz<\/p>\n

<2 mins later>
…..<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I don\u2019t remember so I don\u2019t really care.   He took this photo of me, which he \u2013says- I asked him to take \u2019for my blog\u2019, I\u2019m not so sure, I mean seriously?<\/p>\n

\"gastro2\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

He should have known better\u2026 but, then again I just put it on here for the whole world to see, so maybe I really did say it after all.  Perhaps I should get my head checked next time I\u2019m there, just to see if I have any<\/em> of my marbles left.  <\/p>\n

You know what bothers me most about this photo?  It\u2019s not how fat I am, or how horrible my face looks when I\u2019m sedated, or even the state of my hair.  It\u2019s that pad they put under my face.  It reminds me of one of those pads you buy for puppies to pee on, which makes me wonder what exactly they were expecting to come out of my face.  Was that really necessary?<\/p>\n

I want those drugs again because at that moment, I didn\u2019t have a care in the world.<\/p>\n

Anyhow, you are probably wondering why, if I\u2019ve obviously already had the procedure, am I having it done again so soon?  That\u2019s where the evil body tricks come in.   Even though I fasted for like SIX WHOLE FREAKIN HOURS longer than what was asked of me, I still had food in my stomach when they went in with the scope.  She could even tell my husband what I had for dinner the night before\u2026 nice.<\/p>\n

The reason I had to go in the first place was because of all the problems I\u2019ve had over the past few years with acid reflux<\/a>, and after two different medications the doctor has decided it\u2019s time to go in, check things out and take some biopsies of my stomach.<\/p>\n

Needless to say, the doctor wasn\u2019t expecting to go in and see what was left of my fajitas!  I guess it\u2019s not a good thing when your body digests that slowly, maybe that\u2019s why I\u2019m fat! <\/p>\n

Shut up and leave me alone, I\u2019ll take any excuse I can get.<\/p>\n

Now I have to go back again on the 2nd, and just when I thought it couldn\u2019t get any more fun\u2026 I now have to fast the ENTIRE DAY before my appointment.  So my dinner on Monday will be the last thing I eat until my lunch on Wednesday.   All I can have are drinks and clear soup, not even the little bits in the soup, just the broth. <\/p>\n

I am going to be the pyscho hungry bitch from hell!  How much do you want to bet that Xander \u201chas to work in the office\u201d that day?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Actually, no\u2026 don\u2019t! A week from today I have my 2nd appointment for a Gastroscopy, not fun.  It goes a little something like this\u2026 I just had it done on the 18th, and you\u2019d think once would be enough but please\u2026 this is me we\u2019re taking about.  It goes without saying that my body will …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6803,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[144,355,33,93,52],"class_list":["post-2708","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-life-in-nl","tag-dutch-doctors","tag-gastroscopie","tag-netherlands","tag-sickness","tag-xander"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2708"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5178,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2708\/revisions\/5178"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2708"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2708"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2708"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}