![\"singlebeds\"](\"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/singlebeds-thumb.jpg\" "\\"singlebeds\\"")
Random photo from some smarter people than us.<\/p>\n
Random photo from some smarter people than us.<\/p>\n
This is what I see for my future. A world where I am not even 40 yet<\/a> and am already sleeping in twin beds. It\u2019s 4:51am as I write this and I\u2019ve already been awake for an hour. I am at the end of my rope. I don\u2019t even remember the last time I had a full night\u2019s sleep and I am really starting to feel it.<\/p>\n I hate mosquitoes<\/a>. I hate them to the ends of the earth and back, but they love me<\/a>.<\/p>\n This year we\u2019ve tried to combat the problem by getting a mosquito net for over the bed and an automatic citronella spray that plugs in next to the bed. Does this stop the little bastards from getting in? \u2013 NO! I wouldn\u2019t be writing this if it did.<\/p>\n Do you know what doesn\u2019t help? Having a husband that flip flops around like a fish all night and pulls the net arse ways and crooked, creating gaps galore for the mosquitoes to enter through. Not. Helping!!!<\/p>\n *sigh* I love my husband so much but at 4:30am, sitting alone in my living room scratching the giant mosquito bite on my cheek\u2026 there is nothing I hate more on earth than sharing a bed with him. Here\u2019s how it went for me this morning (and numerous other mornings so far this spring):<\/p>\n I\u2019m still mostly asleep but notice an itch on my back, in a spot I know no amount of twisting is going to allow me to reach. I slowly roll onto my back, trying not to move around so much that I wake myself up fully. I peek at the clock, it\u2019s 3:48am.<\/p>\n I settle on my back with the blankets up to my neck, and notice an itch on the side of my hand, reminding myself if I scratch it, it will get worse and wake me up. My cheek itches like a bitch too.<\/p>\n It\u2019s 3:50am.<\/p>\n Horseback riding through a field\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m feeling myself starting to wake up so I desperately try to think about anything else that will get me dreamy and not thinking about my body itching.<\/p>\n It\u2019s 3:55am. It\u2019s not working.<\/p>\n Sleep dammit\u2026 peaceful thoughts. Aaah isn\u2019t this bed soft\u2026 yes, so tired. Sleeeep.<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m just starting to manage to drift off again and *NUDGE \u2013 SHAKE \u2013 BLANKET YANK*! My husband is getting himself comfortable.<\/p>\n It\u2019s 4:01am.<\/p>\n Even breaths, breath in and long breaths out. Relax. Sleep.<\/em><\/p>\n I realize I\u2019m a little cold, because my husband had just pulled the top blanket off of me. I keep my eyes closed while feeling around trying to sort them out again. For some reason I figure if I do it without opening my eyes, I won\u2019t wake up. I get the blankets sorted and resume my mummy position under the blankets. He feels it of course and flips himself over onto his side, landing hard and yanking the blankets back in the process.<\/p>\n It\u2019s 4:08am.<\/p>\n I know they are out there and now that my cheek is itching I know they aren\u2019t above munching on my face. I can\u2019t breathe warm air, I am claustrophobic. How do I save my face and still breathe at the same time. Just keep still and pretend it isn\u2019t happening.<\/em><\/p>\n The slight panic is waking me up a little more. It\u2019s 4:15am. I can feel my husband moving his legs around.<\/p>\n Edward and Bella\u2026 love, romance, intrigue. I wonder how many mosquitoes have gotten in. I should get up and kill them. Wait, no, if I do that I\u2019ll totally be awake. Jacob, Alice, mind reading\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n I try to force the dreamy again by thinking of something other than mosquitoes attacking my cheeks and eyelids. It starts to work, I\u2019m drifting off into the magical land of Twilight when *WHAM* \u2013 I\u2019ve been ass slammed!<\/p>\n It\u2019s not as dirty as it sounds, it\u2019s when my husband lifts himself up, flips over to his other side while assuming a semi fetal position. When he does this facing away from me, he always shoves his arse way over onto my side and literally \u2026 BUTT butts me.<\/p>\n \u201cFOR FUCK SAKE, XANDER!\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n I huff, turn on the light and get on my knees. That\u2019s when I see that my husband, in all his tossing and turning, flipping and flopping, has managed to pull the mosquito net all up over himself. I look up and see five mosquitoes perched bloated and happy on the inside of the net. I\u2019m sure one of them smirked at me.<\/p>\n I start clapping wildly trying to kill them. Smushing one and getting blood all over the net, while missing the rest because I\u2019m still sleepy and uncoordinated.<\/p>\n \u201cUnnnggghhh \u2026 whaurghh??\u201d I look over and see my husband plucking one of his earplugs from his ear and squinting at me. I guess that means \u201cWTF are you DOING?!\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cGoddamn mosquitoes. Can\u2019t keep still\u2026 twin beds\u2026\u201d *CLAP*<\/strong> \u201cFlipping\u2026 tossing\u2026 blankets\u2026\u201d *SMACK*<\/strong><\/p>\n Oh\u2026 no, I wasn\u2019t smacking him. Even though I admit I felt like it. I was still attacking the mosquitoes.<\/p>\n "I have weird dreams", he replies, before flopping over furiously and going back to sleep. Immediately, I might add. Yeah, no making the dreamy happen for him, it’s like: AWAKE — 2 seconds — SNORE.<\/p>\n It’s 4:31 am and I’m getting the hell out of bed!<\/p>\n Now I am here sharing my misery, cuz that’s just how I roll.<\/p>\n So, I figure I have three options.<\/p>\n 1. Twin beds (I totally just clapped on a big bloody mosquito right here before I even got to three)<\/p>\n 3. Find something that attracts mosquitoes and slather my husband in it before bed.<\/p>\n I\u2019m leaning towards no. 3 at the moment, but that may change after hubby gets up and does his smile and kiss me good morning routine. He\u2019s clever, that one. With the cuteness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Random photo from some smarter people than us. This is what I see for my future. A world where I am not even 40 yet and am already sleeping in twin beds. It\u2019s 4:51am as I write this and I\u2019ve already been awake for an hour. I am at the end of my rope. I …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,6],"tags":[181,150,57,447,106,52],"class_list":["post-2220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-life-in-nl","category-tantrums-rants","tag-frustration","tag-mosquitoes","tag-rants","tag-sleep","tag-spats","tag-xander"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2220"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5184,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2220\/revisions\/5184"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
2. A bigger badder mosquito net<\/p>\n