{"id":1622,"date":"2008-09-14T22:14:29","date_gmt":"2008-09-14T20:14:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.breigh.com\/wordpress\/?p=1622"},"modified":"2008-09-14T22:20:08","modified_gmt":"2008-09-14T20:20:08","slug":"i-am-afraid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/archives\/1622","title":{"rendered":"I. Am. Afraid."},"content":{"rendered":"

Everywhere I turn people are talking about cold and flu.  I\u2019m scared.  I feel like I want to walk around wearing a mask and spraying everything around me down with Lysol.<\/p>\n

If you have ever read this blog, you\u2019ll know that my body is a finely tuned machine.  Oh not in the way you might think, I can\u2019t run a mile to save my life.  As a matter of fact, I\u2019d probably be saving my life by not attempting to running one.<\/p>\n

What I mean is, my body is a finely tuned germ seeking machine.  If I run into the guy on the bus who was just at the post office being served by the lady who\u2019s husband works at the grocery store with the girl who\u2019s boyfriend\u2019s grandmother had a cold last week\u2026 I AM GOING TO GET IT.<\/p>\n

I shit you not and while I\u2019m prone to over exaggeration, this is not one of those cases.<\/p>\n

I had a cold in:<\/p>\n

November 2004<\/a><\/p>\n

September 2006<\/a><\/p>\n

November 2006<\/a><\/p>\n

October 2007<\/a><\/p>\n

February 2008<\/a><\/p>\n

June 2008<\/a><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s just what I have actually documented and found in a quick search of my blog!<\/p>\n

Clearly, I have no immune system.  Everywhere I go children are sniffing, parents are coughing and people are writing about sneezing and snot.  Oh god, I\u2019m doomed\u2026 DOOOOOOOOOMED!   I have a snowball\u2019s chance in hell of escaping this cold and flu season snot-free.<\/p>\n

HELP!!!  I need Vicks, Halls and Buckley\u2019s STAT! Prepare the bunker!!<\/p>\n

Someone get me some Kleenex.  Oh my god, do we have Kleenex in the house?   I think I feel a tickle in my throat.<\/p>\n

I need a flu shot!  Is it too late to get a flu shot?<\/p>\n

I need a mask, and anti-bacterial hand cream.<\/p>\n

SOMEONE GET ME A BUBBLE!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everywhere I turn people are talking about cold and flu.  I\u2019m scared.  I feel like I want to walk around wearing a mask and spraying everything around me down with Lysol. If you have ever read this blog, you\u2019ll know that my body is a finely tuned machine.  Oh not in the way you might …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1623,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[108,93],"class_list":["post-1622","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","","category-randoms","tag-scary","tag-sickness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1622"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1627,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1622\/revisions\/1627"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1623"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1622"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1622"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1622"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}