For the first time in my life I think I’d cheer if I heard those words. Where is the Grinch when I need him..<\/p>\n
I haven’t been able to get my Christmas spirit back at all. I’ve not done any shopping, haven’t bought any cards and my tree is standing in a corner looking dilapitated after me pushing it over in a fit of frustration when trying to get the lights on it. In the process, smashing the porceline head of the angel that sits on top of it. *sigh*<\/p>\n
I don’t want to be here, where it is just me and Xander. I love him, but I could never love anyone enough for it to take away the sadness of being away from my family during the holidays. I cringe when I think about Xander and I here alone on x-mas eve, knowing my family will all gathered at my uncle’s or cousin’s house being together and sharing memories, having a laugh and enjoying the holidays.<\/p>\n
I want to be upbeat and excited about Christmas because I know my sadness affects Xander, and I don’t want that… but I can’t help it. I spend so many days throughout the year holding things in, pushing my feelings aside and trying to appear to be ok. I can’t do that now. Not at this time of year when I’m used to this being the tme when family comes together. When all I am getting are reminders of the family I -don’t- have here, and that really fucking sucks.<\/p>\n
I never thought I’d hate Christmas, but today I do… with a passion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
For the first time in my life I think I’d cheer if I heard those words. Where is the Grinch when I need him.. I haven’t been able to get my Christmas spirit back at all. I’ve not done any shopping, haven’t bought any cards and my tree is standing in a corner looking dilapitated …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[71,9,105,57],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","","category-life-in-nl","tag-christmas","tag-homesickness","tag-make-me-cry","tag-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4424,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions\/4424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canadutch.nl\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}