Yup, Definitely Sick.

Picture0019 Yeah, well all hope of it just being allergies is gone out the window.   I went to work this morning feeling slightly crap and by the end of the afternoon I was downright miserable.

I can’t stop coughing, my throat hurts, I’m sneezing my brains out and am full of snot.   Those aren’t even the worst bits though.  The fucking dizziness is back!  Argh!

It was so hard to concentrate on what I was doing, and even more difficult to take in new things and remember them, which is pretty much everything still.   Every day I learn a ton of new things and usually I remember them but today it was in one ear and out the other.   I hate being unable to think about what I’m doing clearly, especially when I am dealing with things that require attention to detail.

I’m going back to the doctor again in the morning and so help me god, if I don’t get some kind of drugs or at least answers about what the heck is going on, I’m going to be very upset.

If it was just the cold, fine… but it’s not.  It’s this dizziness that has been dragging on for weeks, months even.   It’s not always been this bad but it comes and goes but never goes for good.  It’s so hard because I’m up and down all the time at work getting documents etc and every time I stand up and walk somewhere in the office I feel like I’m drunk.  The other day I crashed into a cabinet.  THAT was embarassing.

It sucks, because I want to be well, happy and energetic going to work.  I really like my job and the people I work with but what must they think with me being so new and having all these issues with being sick.  I took off 3 days the week before last, then managed to stick it out last week and actually felt a lot better by Thursday / Friday.  Now here I am again, not just with the dizziness but the flu on top of it.  Unless it improves by tomorrow I honestly can’t see me lasting through the entire day, but how in the hell do I not go when I want so desperately to be liked and be a good worker so that my contract is extended.  They can’t fire me for being sick, but they can certainly not give me another contract if they think I’m not worth it.

It’s funny because when I worked at the call center a while back, I would have taken any excuse to not have to go there, but I actually really LIKE this job.  That’s what is ticking me off so much, that my body won’t just let me work in peace!

Dammit… I hope to god I feel better tomorrow.

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6 comments

  1. Oh man I feel so bad for you. I hope you get better soon, and that they find out what is wrong with you. And hopefully they can give you something to make you feel a little better while you try to work. I am crossing my fingers for you that all goes well, with the illness (whatever it may be) and also for your contract to be renewed. I don’t pray hence the finger crossing. :)

  2. So hard to get over that freaking North American guilt…but just remember, they aren’t as concerned about your absence as you are. Really.

    Nah…I never totally believe it either.

    BTw…the Dutch huisart attitude about prescriptions isn’t totally wrong…unfortunately, nothing works for a virus except rest and liquids…And meds could just screw up your system in the future when you need to take something for a bacteria infection or whatever….

    Dr. Mom

  3. Hope you are feeling better tomorrow…
    Hope the job goes well…

  4. wow that sucks. I really hope you get better fast. you know, typical, stuff, drink lots of liquids, and get as much rest as possible.

  5. Hi – I’m one of cosmo-doll’s friends (greetings from NB).

    I just had a thought … are you prone to ear infections at all? That can also cause severe dizziness. And it’s true – when working in an office you’re more likely to get sick. I hope you get better soon!

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