A Bug’s Life

Yesterday, I was out with the dog enjoying what turned out to be very temporary sunshine when I suddenly choked.   Was I choking on my own saliva?  Was it a piece of my fried egg that I didn’t get down properly before I went out?  I wasn’t sure what it was but I knew I suddenly had a tickle in my throat and I didn’t know why.  Then I realized…

SHIT!! I INHALED A BUGGGGGGGGG!!!

I had this image in my head from one of those cartoons like A Bug’s Life, imagining this little bug clinging desperately to that dangly thing in my throat as I coughed, spasmed and sputtered my way along the sidewalk.

I could feel it fluttering in my throat, which then made me gag… I knew desperate times called for desperate measures so I did that thing where you try to create as much saliva as possible, like when you get a pill stuck in your throat, ya know?  I knew if I couldn’t get it out I had to get it down, and quick!

It didn’t work…

Finally I gave in and did the old man / cat with a hairball hack and chortle and then I felt it, stuck to my tooth.  I got it up, but I think getting it down would have been more pleasant.

I stuck my finger in and took it out.  It was one of those little black flies… this tiny little thing felt like a pterodactyl in the back of my throat flapping around but it was no bigger than a sesame seed!  I couldn’t tell if it was still alive or not, and I didn’t care – I flicked it like a crusty booger.

This morning as I was walking along the same stretch of the path, I held my breath.