Going Dutch

I hate when I break a nail really low where it’s still sort of attached. It stings and hurts anytime it gets wet or when I touch anything. Not to mention it ruins my nailpolish! Yeah, I’ve been having one of those girlie phases where I keep painting my finger and toenails and plucking the crap out of my eyebrows. It usually falls in line with a change of hair color. It’s like it makes me feel a need to accessorise with the new change or something.I often wonder what makes me have such weird dreams. I’ve noticed that I either don’t remember my dreams at all or I do remember and they are totally weird and disturbing. What makes me not have dreams like, running through a field of daisies or lounging on the beach with my friends. You know, the stuff that makes you wake up feeling happy and fulfilled. I just wake up feeling weird..

Today is the first day of my proper Dutch classes. I’m nervous! I feel like I used to on the first day of school when I was a kid. Well, to be honest I was always nervous even when I would go to the first day in Uni. It was always a nervous excitement though, rather than a “oh my god I’m going to end up on the toilet all day” nervous. (I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome.. it happens). I’ll be so happy if I get there and some people speak English. Like, not just happy but overjoyed. Otherwise I guess I just go and do my thing and hope to make some friends once we all speak Dutch.

It’s hard watching the people from other nationalities all hooking up and getting to know each other when there is nobody for me to get to know. The problem (according to my “case worker”) is that Americans and Canadians are exempt from this program. It’s only the other countries that are forced to do this. That’s why whenever I go to anything like this it’s just Turkish, African, Chinese and every other nationality. For some reason they think that Canadians and Americans can get along on their own and don’t need any help integrating. The only reason I am in the classes is because I went and asked to be. The people I’ll be taking them with were forced.

I found this sort of strange, and I told my case worker that. I mean all these people from from these countries, some are pretty underdeveloped. They come here to make a better life for themselves and their family. They try hard, learn the language and integrate faster than ANY native English speaker I’ve met, simply because it’s not as easy for them as it is for us. Mostly everyone in Holland speaks English and they make it very easy for us to be lazy about learning Dutch. Not to mention that North Americans are far far less adaptable than people from other countries. We grow up knowing things our own way. You an travel for hours upon hours in any given direction and the biggest difference you’ll find between yourself and the people you see along the way are accents.

In Europe it’s different.. we can travel for a few hours and end up in a place with an entirely different language and culture. They grow up exposed to this and grow up a lot more flexible than we do. If you ask me it’s US that should be forced to take this program. I sure as heck wish someone had made me do it in the start, who knows what our lives might be like now.

Anyway, on to other news. Xander and I have been in negotiations for the last day or so, about our computers. I’ve grown bored with SWG already and am pretty sure I’m going to stop gaming again for good. I just totally lost the lust for it and think I’d rather get back to some of my other hobbies like cross stitching or maybe painting. Something that I have something to show for my time. Sure in the games I have characters and have made some decent money off them in the past but, I don’t know.. I’ve outgrown it somehow.

Xander needs some computers to do testing on for something or other (I don’t ask, he just confuses me) and I’m still reeling about that damn webcam. I really wanted to have one just for fun and to be able to be on it for my parents sometimes. So what we’re thinking of is Xander will take my gaming computer and use it for his testing and in return will give me the Compaq laptop which I can use for my torrents and for the webcam when I want to use it. Seems like a pretty sweet deal, plus then I don’t have that monster 21 inch monitor hogging all the space on my desk. We can put that back in the bedroom for watching Divx. I don’t know why I’m hesitant, seems stupid to hang on to that really great computer if I’m not going to really use it. I’ll probably go for it.

Three sleeps until we go to the Gyno for the results of our tests.. I think that’s definately going to be the other kind of nervous day. *Groans*

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