Gag Me!

Actually, no… don’t!

A week from today I have my 2nd appointment for a Gastroscopy, not fun.  It goes a little something like this…

gastro
I just had it done on the 18th, and you’d think once would be enough but please… this is me we’re taking about.  It goes without saying that my body will play evil tricks on me that make me want to dress myself in cement shoes and throw me in a river.  

When I visited the first time I did just as they said, no food after midnight the previous evening (I didn’t eat after 6pm just to be extra good!), no food in the morning, and so on.   I was nervous because I was going to be sedated, which has never happened, but it was better than the alternative.   The alternative being held down while the people shove this thing down your throat.  Sorry, but… no.

So I get there, they try really hard to talk me out of the sedation because apparently the Dutch, being the hardcore mofos that they are, take it without being sedated at all.  Yeah, they also pull teeth without freezing.  That makes them crazy, not me. 

Long story short… they sedate me, I wake up, and Xander is there.  Apparently, we had the same conversation numerous time, which was quite amusing for him.   This is his version:

T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:45, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. I think I am ready to go home now"
T: Zzzzzzz

<2 mins later>
T: "They tried to convince me not to take the sedation"
X: "Oh yeah?"
T: "I considered it"
T: "Did they even do it? I looked at the clock and it was 8:50, so they couldn’t have taken more than a minute. Can I go home now?"
T: Zzzzz

<2 mins later>
…..

I don’t remember so I don’t really care.   He took this photo of me, which he –says- I asked him to take ’for my blog’, I’m not so sure, I mean seriously?

gastro2

He should have known better… but, then again I just put it on here for the whole world to see, so maybe I really did say it after all.  Perhaps I should get my head checked next time I’m there, just to see if I have any of my marbles left. 

You know what bothers me most about this photo?  It’s not how fat I am, or how horrible my face looks when I’m sedated, or even the state of my hair.  It’s that pad they put under my face.  It reminds me of one of those pads you buy for puppies to pee on, which makes me wonder what exactly they were expecting to come out of my face.  Was that really necessary?

I want those drugs again because at that moment, I didn’t have a care in the world.

Anyhow, you are probably wondering why, if I’ve obviously already had the procedure, am I having it done again so soon?  That’s where the evil body tricks come in.   Even though I fasted for like SIX WHOLE FREAKIN HOURS longer than what was asked of me, I still had food in my stomach when they went in with the scope.  She could even tell my husband what I had for dinner the night before… nice.

The reason I had to go in the first place was because of all the problems I’ve had over the past few years with acid reflux, and after two different medications the doctor has decided it’s time to go in, check things out and take some biopsies of my stomach.

Needless to say, the doctor wasn’t expecting to go in and see what was left of my fajitas!  I guess it’s not a good thing when your body digests that slowly, maybe that’s why I’m fat!

Shut up and leave me alone, I’ll take any excuse I can get.

Now I have to go back again on the 2nd, and just when I thought it couldn’t get any more fun… I now have to fast the ENTIRE DAY before my appointment.  So my dinner on Monday will be the last thing I eat until my lunch on Wednesday.   All I can have are drinks and clear soup, not even the little bits in the soup, just the broth.

I am going to be the pyscho hungry bitch from hell!  How much do you want to bet that Xander “has to work in the office” that day?

Check Also

A Summary of Things

All it I takes is a quick look at my blog timeline to see that …

One (Last?) Visit to Keukenhof

This weekend Xander and I decided to visit Keukenhof. We both really wanted to make …

7 comments

  1. I type out reports of this procedure almost every single day (being a medical transcriptionist), it doesn’t sound so bad when the doctors talk about it, I guess its all routine for them.

    My first time hearing it from a patient’s point of you and it doesn’t sound pleasant. But then, thinking about colonoscopy ;-) , this is way better.

    Hope you end up okay :-)
    .-= Nigel Babu´s last blog ..Pushing 150 kg =-.

  2. OMGosh I totally would of asked..no told them that they were going to sedate me..Im not a freaking porn queen ya know..tee hee. I wouldnt be looking forward to the no eating thing either..I wont post what I bake on facebook that day..lol

    That does look like a dog pee pee pad!! They probably thought you were going to throw up from the sedation. When you woke up, were you in a room with other people or just yourself?
    .-= Sonya´s last blog ..Pecan Pie Cookies =-.

    • Oh yes PLEASE do not post any cookies, muffins, pancakes or any of the other delicious things you taunt me with! I’ll go bezerk haha You’re right they probably did think I might be sick because they did ask me a lot when I woke up if I was feeling ok. It was just Xander and I in the room but it was open to the hallway so anyone could see in. I didn’t really care at the time though.

  3. oops, forgot to subscribe to comments.
    .-= Nobody´s last blog ..Weird Wednesday #89 =-.

  4. WTF? Sedation is SOP here for a gastroscope, they’ve never given me the option to not have it. Midazolam is neat stuff. You really aren’t sedated so much as you get amnesia and don’t remember them raping you orally, LOL.

    I’m not really sure what they would be looking for inside your stomach, but then, I’m not a physician. For me, they usually just check out the esophagus to look for erosion or any signs of cancer. But I guess maybe they might want to check out the duodenum as well, and make sure that’s all working as it should.

    Have they checked for H.Pylori?

    For me, Nexium works best. I’ve been on it for 5+ years now. I’ve tried some others, Aciphex, Prilosec. I have Barrett’s Esophagus, so I’ll probably be on something for GERD until I die.

    The gastroscopes aren’t any fun, but don’t mess around with this stuff, GERD can lead to esophageal cancer, and I can tell you that isn’t any fun at all, and is very deadly. I’ve lost an aunt and an uncle on my dad’s side to it. My dad and brother also both have Barrett’s.

    Good luck!
    .-= Nobody´s last blog ..Weird Wednesday #89 =-.

    • Yeah, I know it’s baffling! Here in NL you have to ask for a lot of this stuff and even then they sort of resent you for making them do it. I’ve had my dentist try to give me fillings without freezing and look at me funny when I gave him the OH HELL NO! haha

      I’ve been on Ranatadine and Omeprazol so far. They just wanted to have a look and check for ulcers and whatever else. She did say that from what she saw the last time it looked ok. I dunno what in the heck is going on in there, but I suspect that the my ridiculously slow digestion may have something to do with the acid reflux. Food should not be hanging around my stomach that long. That means that when I have dinner, it’s falling in on top of breakfast and lunch. Good grief!

      Cancer is also a big thing in our family… pretty much my entire family on my father’s side has died from it so it’s pretty scary. I’ve never heard of Barrett’s, gonna go look it up now!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.